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19:42 « I bought the goods, laid them out on the kitchen counter. I was hungry, I was inspired. »
20:03 « The revolution had begun. »
21:16 « Who would’ve thought that roughly 2000 years after the first pope was appointed, I would be watching hours of conclave prediction content on TikTok, and Gen-Z compilations of the hottest candidates in the race for the papacy? »
00:00 « I wished I could eat Peppa Pig. »
19:42
I got back from the supermarket with an appetite.
I didn’t know how long it would take to cook Caldo Verde. What I did know was that it’s difficult to dislike the Portuguese staple. The soup’s various greens and thick broth aren’t just comforting; they can even « cure any sickness ».
That’s according to the overly enthusiastic cook I watched on TikTok, who led with the soup’s healing powers. There was good reason to trust my digital chef: he knows how to compress what I assume to be a somewhat prolonged cooking process into a mere minute.
Every second, another ingredient magically changed shape. Whole onions turned into thinly chopped bits. Entire chorizos disintegrated into thick slices at the blink of an eye. I think I spotted some minced garlic.
Under any other circumstance, I would have gone through my standard motions: find a great recipe on TikTok, add it to my crowded recipe folder, and forget about it. But not today.
I bought the goods, laid them out on the kitchen counter. I was hungry, I was inspired. One more rewatch on the app to get the proportions right. Leaning on the kitchen counter in close proximity to some chorizo and kale, I scrolled.
20:03
Back on my personalized feed, I was greeted by another chef. « I would simply shred Peppa Pig and serve her with white onions and pickles, » TikToker Josh Scherer broke down how he’d cook Peppa and her family on the first video that entered my feed today. I chose not to engage; my soup would now be vegetarian.
I scrolled.
« Trump and Epstein friends? No. Their relationship was strictly basketball. » An excerpt of a twenty-minute documentary produced by The Onion. Next up: Israel’s newest ceasefire violations, and then a fiery speech by a Member of the European Parliament about a declaration of an opinion on a bill.
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